Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
