so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
nutella sex= disaster
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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