I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
