I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize