yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
