Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
When are your genitals available?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
