Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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