Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he thought i was a dude.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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