So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
