jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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