remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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