just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
