my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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