the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
