but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize