Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
apparently the secret to your success is patron
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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