I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she was so not down for the gang bang
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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