Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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