i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
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My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize