I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
