He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
