The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
