I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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