Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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