Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
