Your tits are I can't wait for
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
