I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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