I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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