In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
