best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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