my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She's the barista slut.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
