I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
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Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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