if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
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in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
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I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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