I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
