Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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