he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
