Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize