Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
