Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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