Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
