Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She told me I should be a condom model.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
