I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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