Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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