White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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