From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
