after a month anything with tits is on the radar
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize