I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
