$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If that was your dad, he is hot
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
