I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
