My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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