You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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