I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
