I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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