Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
