I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
