do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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