Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
