this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
