So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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