we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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