Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
