She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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