dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize