I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
